AJ's Weekend While Mommy is in the Slammer
by ExecutiveNerd
Summary: Lana comes home to a mess after Archer and AJ have a fun weekend while she is in jail.


Lana made her way up the stairs towards her apartment. Archer hadn't fucking bothered to pick her up from jail, and instead, she was being dropped off by a taxi. She took her time going up the stairs, dreading the moment she had to walk into her apartment. She was positive that Archer and AJ had made a huge mess. She got to her door and went to unlock it to discover that the greatest spy ever couldn't even lock a damn door. She took a deep, calming breath and went inside.

Once inside, she was assaulted by 'Danger Zone' playing through the apartment. She turned the corner from the entryway into the living room and found pretty much exactly what she had expected. Toys were strewn around the living room, the couch cushions were upturned and stacked up like a barricade, pillows, and blankets on top and around it, a fort, they had made a fort, and the DVD menu of Top Gun was on the TV, the first minute of 'Danger Zone' playing on repeat. "This will take forever to clean up. And who will have to clean it up? Me. It's always me," she muttered to herself as she made her way further into the living room, past the fort. She tried really hard to stay angry once she saw the other side, but she could feel it fading, California was making her soft. On the other side of the barricade, Archer and AJ were both fast asleep. Archer stretched out on his side, an arm pillowing his head and the other thrown across AJ, who was laying the exact same way, except that her arm was thrown across her teddy bear. Beside them was an empty pizza box, candy wrappers and an empty bottle of booze, dammit Archer.

She took a picture of the scene in front of her before deciding to deal with them after she got cleaned up. She made her way past them towards her bedroom. Inside she found a small photo album carefully placed at the foot of her bed. The words "AJ's Weekend While Mommy was in the Slammer" in bright yellow at the top of the purple album. Groaning, she sat down on her bed and flipped through the book. The first group of pictures were all from the office, he must have taken her to work, there was a picture of her on a blanket in his office, surrounded by toys. There were pictures of her and the other members of the group, and some pictures of the two of them making funny faces at each other. The rest of the pictures were more varied: aquarium, zoo, ice cream, AJ's first time watching Top Gun, and a bunch of other random pictures taken in the apartment. Archer was drinking in half of the pictures, and the pair were doing reckless things in more, but AJ was happy and safe and sound, so Lana guessed she couldn't object too much. She had been the one in jail though it was Archer's fault.

After getting herself cleaned up and changed, she made her way back into living room and found that her boyfriend and daughter were still fast asleep. She found the remote, turn the TV off, and waited. It took about 45 seconds without the song before both Archer and AJ were stirring and waking up. Archer sat up first, rubbing his eyes and looking around the room, but AJ doing mostly the same thing spotted Lana first. "Mommy!" AJ cheered, running to greet her mother.

"Hey baby," Lana said pulling her daughter into a hug. "I missed you!"

"Me and Daddy fun!" AJ told her, pointing towards Archer. She didn't seem to have missed Lana much, a fact that made her a little sad.

"Yeah, Daddy's fun," Archer said through a yawn, stretching his arms.

"Well, daddy forgot to pick up mommy," Lana said sweetly to AJ, but the bitterness was definitely there.

"Goddamnit," Archer cursed. "AJ! You were supposed to remind me!"

"Don't get Mommy!" AJ said cheerfully, earning Archer a glare from Lana.

"Don't forget Mommy, don't forget," Archer corrected, trying to give Lana a sheepish grin.

"Don't get Mommy!" AJ cheered again.

"Either way, you shouldn't have left that up to the two-year-old," Lana scolded him

"Not Daddy fault," AJ said defiantly, crossing her arms.

"I see Daddy taught you all sorts of fun things this weekend huh?" Lana asked, not looking at her daughter, instead of shooting daggers at Archer with her eyes.

"Danger Zone!" AJ sang dramatically, causing Archer to break into a fit of laughter. He was literally rolling on the ground laughing. "Danger Zone! Danger Zone!" She cheered again.

"Oh god. What did I get myself into?" Lana asked herself, watching as Archer had started dramatically singing the whole song, AJ doing her best to sing along.


End file.
